Hey Fab! As per our disclosure policy, we use affiliate links that may result in compensation if you click links & make purchases. By doing so, you help to keep this blog going & I appreciate & thank you for it.

The CurvaCast Episode 16: An Interview, Inspiration, Rants, Travel & A Plea To Women

Hey Delights!

Welcome back to another episode of The CurvaCast. It's been a minute so I am sharing quite a bit in this episode of the CurvaCast. As mentioned in my Universal Standard giveaway post, there are clips from my interview with Alexandra Walden, the co-founder of Universal Standard. {HintI also mention the answer to the giveaway during the podcast around minute 39}, so if you missed my Instagram stories, you can find it there to enter.😊
this episode. As mentioned in my

I went to see Janet Jackson in concert and she was AMAZING! I haven't danced as much as I did that night in a very long time. And because it was Janet, I had to go with a rocker chic but movable vibe, so I rocked my one shoulder faux leather top again (last seen here). Get links to recreate this vibe on my liketoknow.it page.

As per our disclosure policy, we use affiliate links that may result in compensation if you click links & make purchases.

There are also a couple of travel tips, recaps of the amazing events that I have been to and how they have inspired me. And a rant about brands who blow it with bogus promotions, and how all who appear woke, ain't and the need for women to stop it with the self deprecation and a few other things.

The CurvaCast Episode 15: A Rant & More Plus Size Fashion Wins

Hey Fab! As per our disclosure policy, we use affiliate links that may result in compensation if you click links & make purchases. By doing so, you help to keep this blog going & I appreciate & thank you for it. 

Hey Delights!

I wasn't planning to record this podcast but a couple of things happened as I was scrolling through insta stories yesterday that I had to rant about.

Also, there are new collections from plus size bloggers that have dropped. Essie Golden has once again partnered with Rebdolls on a collection that features palm print & the prettiest blush neutrals like this cut out high low dress.


{Community} Fat Does Not Equal...

Hey Delights!

So there is a new piece out in the June/July issue of People StyleWatch about Ashley Graham with her being quoted in response to the question "You exude body-confidence. How did you learn to turn off that negative voice we all have?" as saying"
There are some days when I feel fat

Ok. I follow Ashley Graham on Instagram & for the most part I would say she seems like a fun, sometimes self deprecating person. But I have had conversations in private before about Ashley but I am going to talk a little bit about her in public today.


{Link Love} Shouts & Raves | Vol 2

So much is happening in the plus size world and of course I have to start with the history making Sports Illustrated cover featuring Ashley Graham. This has of course been a long time coming.

Ashley, who posted an ugly cry video on her instagram page from when she found out she would be in the issue, said that she is "Truly speechless!!! This cover is for every woman who felt like she wasn't beautiful enough because of her size. You can do and achieve anything you put your mind to"



Come Thru With The Body Diversity Barbie! #TheDollEvolves

Introducing the 2016 Barbie® Fashionistas™ Dolls. The dolls, which comes in 4 body types, including Curvy, Petite &Tall, 7 skin tones, 22 eye colors and 24 hairstyles will be available at various times throughout the year.  Here's a look at the new Curvy versions. They all come with their own fashion personalities & accessories, from sporty to everyday chic.

While this is a long overdue move for the iconic franchise that has been under fire for years now because of it's unrealistic body proportions among other things, I give Mattel kudos for making this happen and in such a huge way.


{Community} My Crop Top Advice to O Magazine

Hey fabs!

The Big O is my spirit animal and I have loved & learned from her for decades. I have also been a subscriber to O Magazine since it's inception and have always found it of value.

By now you have most likely seen the picture that popped up all over instagram & the other social feeds and I am writing this post because while it did not really surprise me, it really kinda bummed me out.

I am months behind on reading my mags but I went thru my stacks and pulled out the issue with the blurb that started it all and here is a full picture of the "advice".

The crazy thing is, so much of the issue is about feeling & being your best & celebrating yourself, which is why I read O Magazine in the first place. And this issue has more variety of fashion sizes represented than any other I have read in recent times.

But this "advice", a part of the "Personal Style" section written by O's Creative Director Adam Glassman just reeks of that subtle body shaming that we hear and see way too much.

Instead of taking that question and turning it into a moment of power, the response pretty much says if you are not "perfect" you should cover & hide and under two layers of clothes no less.

Now as a long time reader of O Mag, there have definitely been times over the years where I have read a feature or "advice" and rolled my eyes, which is why I noted above that I was not really surprised. 

I think one of the reasons for the obvious disconnect from where we are culturally or better yet where we are trying to be culturally is that Mr. Glassman and people like him live in a certain bubble kind of a world.

For them fashion is all about rules and dictates that have stood the test of time. Never mind that these rules have excluded so many of us in so many ways & have made women feel less at times or make women feel that we are not good enough as we are.  They are the rules dammit, these are the things you do if you want to look a certain way. (Insert uppity face pout)

And because of this, I am sure there wasn't a single moment of hesitation or second thought about the "advice" when he wrote it. Heck he might have even had a chuckle or two recounting some poor, fashion challened soul who wore a crop top that he felt most certainly should not have.

The only thing is, if you are trying to be a modern magazine for modern women who are OWNING (pun intended) their lives completely and fully as they are and making the most of it, it would've been so much more valuable & affirming for him to say here are a few ways to wear crops tops if you're comfortable showing your stomach & if you're not comfortable, here are some other options and BAM, good advice.

But sigh...heavy sigh...he did not. 

Thankfully we women are speaking out and standing up for our ourselves and our right to live our lives by our own rules and not the antiquated ones that only serve to try to make us feel like something is wrong with us. Because, guess what? There isn't!

And hey Mr. Glassman, the answer to how you pull off a crop top is not that complicated...

What say you?


{Community} All A Buzz...Feed...Fat Girls In Bikini's!

Yesterday one of my fabs brought it to my attention that a photograph of me in one of my bikinis was included in a Buzzfeed piece titled "Women Are Sharing Gorgeous Pictures Of Their Real Bodies With The #Fatkini Hashtag"  so I went to check it out.

Bravo to the ladies who are just doing their thing. Choosing to live their lives, on their own terns and not allowing others to shame them into feeling bad about and hiding their bodies.

Life is just too damn short.

And honestly I laugh at the rambling of fools because I simply...don't care. Maybe it's the west side of Chicago in me ;) but I have always been very firm about one thing:


And I was going to write a whole long post about the piece and the comments of course as I have previously at times (here oh this one was especially a good one from way back in 2009) but then I just left my short, simple comment on the piece responded to a few positive and negative ones that others left and went about my day.

Like I said, life is just too damn short and the wee one and I were too busy out having fun!

Strike a pose!

The irony of this post dropping when it did, was I had just returned from the beach snapping pics in yet another bikini (pictured above) and a couple of other swimsuits I mentioned I would review here.

Ohhhh...and I started the Oprah and Deepak meditation this morning and how timely it is. This particular 21 day series is all about happiness and how it's an internal job and our natural state of being and how the external ish can get in the way, aka ig-mos and their comments on the internet.


To close this out I just want to share as I have before, one of my favorite quotes to remind us all what life is really about.



{Life} I Love It...OWNING Her Fatness!

I came across this Daily Venus Diva article about Whitney Thore's No Body Shame Campaign and she is giving me all kinds of life with here great attitude, OWNING her "fatness" and her wicked dance moves, some of which I will totally be stealing ;)

In her words, she is "learning to practice aggressive self-love. I have lived my life as a 130-pound woman and as a 350-pound woman in North America, in Europe, and in Asia. Cultural norms, societal pressures, and the whims of the fashion industry do not define my worth as woman or a human being. My intelligence, personality, talents, and contributions do not fluctuate with the numbers on a scale. I am unwaveringly me at any size..."

Viva la Fat Girls!

Connect: BloglovinTwitter | Instagram | Pinterest


{Community} Talk of IowaPR Size Discrimination Discussion

Earlier today I lent my voice to a conversation regarding being plus size and size discrimination on Iowa Public Radio's Talk of Iowa with Charity Nebbe.

As most of us who are fat know, fat shaming and discrimination is an everyday occurrence from the doctor's office to the corporate office to the aisles of department stores.

Katie Opperman, a baker starts the conversation off by walking us through her experience with a doctor, who it turns out misdiagnosed her because he basically attributed her health issues solely to her weight.

She also experienced other "medical professionals" who were just downright ugly to her before she found a doctor who actually diagnosed her properly and treated her appropriately.

She also talked about how being fat is basically the last "justified" subject that random people feel no qualms about giving their assumptive two cents, like maybe you should work out, or try to diet, etc

You hear all the time about people being randomly called fat on the street. I have had this happen to me a few times, when some dude didn't like how I responded to some randomness from them and while I personally could not possibly care any less, I know that this has/is a huge issue for a lot of other people.

Next up was Melissa Zimdars, a graduate student who specializes in the area of fat studies.

She and Charity presented some very interesting statistics about some of the myths and the realities of weight.

For example, there is a study from Yale that showed that weight prejudices start with women when they are 13lbs overweight and men tend to experience weight prejudice when they are 75lbs overweight. (side eye)

A guy named William called in to share his experience when he went out for a job and was told that "I am not supposed to tell you this, you are really big and I don't think that they would hire you".

And the interesting part about this is that there really aren't any laws that treat this kind of discrimination as a protective category, so usually there isn't much that can or is done about it.

Another caller, Angie talked about the online bullying that occurs a lot of times when fat folks post pictures of themselves online and how she and some of her friends shy away from doing so, to avoid the abuse.

I spoke about my views on the current state of fashion and the need for more space in the stores, more plus size models modeling plus size clothing, etc

It was a great, informative and I think important discussion about the state of fatness today.

Check it out HERE and welcome to those of you who found me on Iowa Public Radio!

p.s - I am still celebrating my birthday by raising money for charity: water, please consider donating! 


Apparently, Yes It Was Really Necessary

Ok....she tweeted and inserted her proverbial foot in her mouth BUT was it really that big of a thing?

In case you are not aware, there is a Lane Bryant issue live and in full tweet color on twitter and around the fatosphere regarding a tweet posted that took offense with a t-shirt that Definatalie has in her online shop.

The marketing powers that be at Lane Bryant have taken to their Inside Curve blog to try to address the matter.

The tweeter, who's name is apparently Heather, saw a statement on the shirt that gave her pause..

it reads...“Does my fat arse look fat in this?”

And while I wouldn't have given it a second thought, because I see it as a hands on hip, kiss my grits kinda statement, I can see why she might have taken offense to it.

The problem of course is, that Heather was not aware of who Definatalie is. She is a fatavist.

And unfortunately for Lane Bryant, they haven't gotten to a place where they realize that they need to connect with more than the cool kids who blog just about the cute clothes that they wear but that they need to be aware of ALL of the dynamics that make up their customer base.

I have said for years that I have a love/hate relationship with Lane Bryant.

I appreciate that they have been in the game almost solo at times but after so many years, it's been disappointing at times that that they don't truly seem to get the position that they have always been in.

For one, I have never understood why they have not been in every city meeting/connecting with their customers over the years.

Why they let the cries and complaints go mainly unanswered for years. So there is a lot of frustration there {exhibited in some of the relentless comments on Inside Curve}.

And while I will give them their points for the headway that they have made in recent years, they still have a way to go and this "altercation" has served to throw the deer in the headlights!

I just hope that Lane Bryant will use this moment to not only appease but to grow and as Definatalie also suggested, get to know their customers and all of our complexities, needs and issues.

The Plus Size, Full Figured, Curvy Results Are In

I am posting a 2014 version of this poll. 
Stay tuned and I hope that you will add your thoughts!

A while ago after an email exchange with a rep at one of the fashion companies, who was concerned about using the phrase "Plus Size" for their companies offerings for women "our size", I created a poll to gauge what WE prefer to be called and the results are very interesting.

  • 46% voted for the word "Curvy"
  • 22% voted for the phrase "Plus Size"
  • 18% voted for "Other" of the nine who voted in this category, 8 said that they call themselves "Fat"
  • 10% voted for the word "Full Figured"
  • 4% voted for the word "Large"

Personally I call myself Plus Size.


Because I have just owned the phrase for myself for years now.

My old blog was called The Plus Size Diva, so for me the phrase Plus Size has always been this really positive description that I applied to myself.

It described my body AND my life!

Big Beautiful, Fabulous, PLUS SIZE!

I never let the media or those who have taken the words and turned them into something ugly or malicious change or effect my "affection" for the phrase

Now as for the word Curvy, I am not really surprised that it came in first place but I did not expect it to be so far ahead of Plus Size.

I say that I am not surprised that it was a favorite, because I know that the word has a more positive reputation than almost any other word that could describe a woman.

When people here the word curvy, they think of sexy womanliness, you know like Kim Kardashian or Beyonce or J Lo.

I loved the girls that owned the word Fat too because I believe that there is power in taking words normally negatively associated  and owning them.

Viva la Fat Girls!

I was a little surprised that 10% chose Full Figured, simply for no other reason than its just so blah to me.

But I would love to hear your feedback on this.

(Note there were really great comments on this post from a variety of women but they didn't survive my switching over to the disqus commenting system...boo)

Plus Size, Full Figured, Curvy? What say you?

People try to call us all kinds of names but what I want to know is what do you call yourself?

Take the poll and please leave your comments as to why below!!

Please be honest and say as much as you want

This is being asked for a really big reason that could really turn into a good thing for us fashion wise!!!



Curvatude Fab Five: Girls Rockin Curvatude Around the Web

I haven't done a fab five in quite some time..

So, here ya go..and what better way to bring it back than by highlighting some of my plus size, love your life affirming sisters around the web..

Check out BigDivaHq and her great post, The Approach which speaks to the fact that Curvatude isn't just about fashion and beauty, its about attitude.

Diva in Deep Thought brings the sunshine rocking a cute combo of yellow and white.

Curious Fancy..aka Forays in Fatshion rocks the most adorable vintage like shift with a sweet DIY headband.

Le Blog de Big Beauty rocks a must have and rides with Mickey Mouse.

Weesha's World reminds you to take a sad song and make it better while rockin a gorgeous dress and lace.

Fab Five Out!

I Interrupt My Birthday & Earth Day Festivities..

because I just got an email from adweek and I have to take a moment and give a major "are you f&%*() kidding?" to Fox and ABC for their ridiculous resistance to the new Lane Bryant ad.

All the ish that they broadcast on a regular basis and they object to this?

I am not one to holler out discrimination lightly BUT this comes across as smelling like nothing other than "fat hate".

A beautiful plus size woman looking sexy and happy in her skin apparently is too much for their audiences?

I mean how many other well known brands advertise underwear on a regular basis and no one even gives it a second thought?

Thankfully LB did not idly sit by and made a stink.

They posted their side of the story and expressed their frustration, including how FOX demanded all kinds of re-edits, etc of the commercial before they would air it during American Idol..

American idol...

of all shows...

as if...

don't get me started..

Another One Bites the Dust

What is with these designers nowadays?

Are they really as ridiculous as they seem?

Now apparently Eileen Fisher (who's clothes by the way I actually like and say that I could see myself wearing when I am like 50 or so) told Rosie O'Donnell that being associated with plus sizes is "just not the image that we’re going for".


Read more on WWD

Sex and Weight

i made a small mention about this article "Weight Issues: How They Affect Your Sex Life" a week or so ago (before elle.com had it up on their website)

now its up and i wanted to give it a little more attention with a few observations.

- its interesting how most women will look over things about their partner that they don't really find attractive while most men will not..its the what's love got to do with it when what really matters is are you getting my juices going right NOW thing and women fall for that

- she wrote "We give ourselves to each other soul and body, after all. If I had some kind of soul sickness that was affecting our lives—alcoholism, uncontrollable rage—then I’d expect Alex to tell me he loves me but he’s unhappy. So why does it feel so different when it’s my body we’re talking about?"

weird how issues with weight carry so much weight that we have to compare it to alcoholism and other "diseases"

- i love that her "depression" over the way he felt about her body that added to her own angst about her body eventually turned into her showing her body and spirit some love and eventually not caring (all that much) what he thought in certain ways

but the flip side is that she stays with him although he can barely do the deed anymore and purportedly not because of her weight but because he is having other "issues"

jeez..what are you thoughts?

this brings up so many questions for me.

has this been an issue for you or other women you know?

would you stay in a relationship with someone who has issues with your weigh?

how does your weight make you feel about sex?

What Size Does Plus Size Begin?

I am posting a 2014 version of this poll. 
Stay tuned and I hope that you will add your thoughts!

I tweeted a poll asking the above question and the results are very interesting.

As you can see there is no consensus as to what size plus size begins.

The main response was at size 18 but it only beat out sizes 12-16 by one vote.

I would love to know the reasons why people choose the answers that they did.

I imagine that for some people like myself it was based on their own size or the size of people that they know.

I also know that there is a huge divide, especially amongst woman as to what is plus size and what is not and i am talking about real world and not the modeling world, which an entirely different beast, although there was all that hoopla recently about the size 14 model in mark fast's show.

I have been on plus size message boards where women actually got into nasty riffs because they were upset that someone who wasn't their definition of plus size was posting or asking questions about different things.

Its really a very interesting dynamic to witness.

I would love to hear from some of you women who come and take a peek on a daily basis at my blog!

Yes, i know you have been here and i appreciate it but this would be so much more enlightening if you left comments!

So, please chime in.

What size do you think plus size begins and why?

Thanks! (Note there were really great comments on this post from a variety of women but they didn't survive my switching over to the disqus commenting system...boo)

The Fat Acceptance Movement

I just watched this segment on the Today Show and while I initially took umbrage with the title, because I don't need other peoples acceptance to accept myself, I loved the way this discussion progressed

For one, it confirmed my love for Emme.

She continues to remind us that our worth does not come from the scale.

I actually don't even own a scale and even when I am weighed I don't give it much thought in the "traditional" sense.

Being from a family with multiple familial health issues, I think of my body more in terms of what it means to my health.

Most people can not look at me and guess my weight because of my height and the way my weight is distributed.

And I have worked out a lot during my life and have quite a bit of muscle mass under this lush plusness..

But I can honestly say that I love my curves and I don't just say that to psyche myself into feeling good about myself.

I say it because I mean it.

I love the way my girls look in a nice v neck and the way my butt looks in jeans.

I work out (semi regularly at the moment) and I currently eat mainly a raw diet and not because I was trying to lose weight because I had an "issue" with my body but simply because I have medical issues that can be improved by eating better and releasing weight.

And those two things are not exclusive to fat folks' health.

As Dr.Snyderman pointed out, fat people can be healthy and skinny people can be unhealthy.

One of the things that stood out that really wasn't explored was the statement made by Dr.Snyderman that some "doctors don't like taking care of obese people"

I mean really! I had to rewind that and take that in again.

How much more ridiculous can this bias be?

That now even doctors, the people we entrust with our medical care, are on some fat hate ish too!


Anyway, the person who really hit a home run for me was newsweek.com's Health and Lifestyle editor, Kate Dailey.

She spoke about the obvious. "The way you look in your jeans is not a good measure of how healthy you are".

Sounds simple enough that you would think people would understand it but alas..if they did, there wouldn't have been a need for the segment or this post..

She summarized the "real fat acceptance movement" and how its about accepting yourself and doing the things that make you healthier and happier and essentially give you a richer life.

Not about if your weight meets others standards and thereby gives them carte blanche to judge and define what it should be.

When will people learn that degrading and denigrating does not make people into what you want them to be.

She also cowrote a great must read article titled "America's War on the Overweight".

It speaks partially to the "psychological phenomenon known as the fundamental attribution error, a basic belief that whatever problems befall us personally are the result of difficult circumstances, while the same problems in other people are the result of their bad choices"

Which is huge.

Because I completely believe that it is one of the main components in this so called "war".

She said that they are going to post a gallery of people who are "fit and fat" later today. (I will add it when its up)

UDATE: The Fit and Fat feature is up!

Lastly, there is a another great article on newsweek.com (i need to spend more time there) titled "Who Says Americans Are Too Fat?" that questions and offers some responses to the whole idea of being fat equating to an increase in the risk of death, to the validity of the BMI and provides information related to the fact that a person can be fat and healthy.

Glamour & All..

when i saw this picture in the current issue of glamour..i just smiled and thought..wow a real woman who looks really happy...but i really didn't give it too much thought..

apparently i am one of the few..

it has turned into major chatter online and elsewhere..as i am writing this there are 500+ comments on the story at glamour.com

most of the conversation is how grateful women are to see "real women" in a major magazine but a side bar of the conversation is how no matter what size a woman is, it all comes down to self image and embracing what we have.

i love that..

and granted this wont change anything overnight but it sure is nice to see something positive being said about "plus size" bodies..

and once again, glamour magazine... reminds me why i subscribe..

the model in the picture, Lizzie Miller, had some interesting things say on the today show..

take a look..


PETA: We Need Attention, so Let's be Offensive..,

Aww PETA n their ever present air of ignorance.

i hesitated to even address this latest controversy beyond my tweet involving PETA mainly because i honestly think that they did it because, hey things have been kinda quiet on their front and they needed some attention and i really didn't want to give them any

but after further thought i reconsidered..

once again ugliness rears its head and what better way to do so than to be offensive and attack fat folks..

a few things about the ad..

1. i wont even bother to post it..but it says "Save the Whales - Lose the Blubber: Go Vegetarian" and shows an overweight woman in a tight bikini

2. its stupid - i have been a vegetarian for over 8 years and trust me, it has not meant that i only ate vegetables and lost tons of weight. i am considered obese if you go by the charts and actually i have gained weight as a vegetarian

and ironically they have listed on their very site one of the reasons why..

uh just because you don't eat meat it doesn't mean that you don't eat sweets

3. their EVP is just ignorant as witnessed by this statement "Trying to hide your thunder thighs and balloon belly is no day at the beach," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman.

too bad she has a hard time hiding her "fatness"

personally i am an avid beach goer and i don't spend my time there trying to hide anything..

4. people are getting so bored with their shock n denigrate lowbrow tactics for getting their "message" across and its sad because the organization has done valuable work.

but I guess the need to not feel irrelevant at times sadly makes them resort to the lowest possible denominator..

but there is a lesson to be learned here, once again..one of the main issues that plus size folks need to fight on a daily basis is the ease in which people think its ok to use us as a punching bag for all the ills of world
© Curvatude™ - A Chicago Plus Size Fashion, Beauty and Lifestyle Blog. All rights reserved.